Good afternoon Wonkyfollowers!

Wonkywarrior has had a big shot of depo in the (as Forrest Gump would say) in the But- tock.



This shot of woo woo juice sends wonky high as a kite and so much of the world is funny, amazing and worth singing to which in the middle of the first session of post adoption therapy was not ideal... Thought Mr Wonky wanted to divorce me after the first chorus of "bring me sunshine" in the car on the way!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZedhoqYdfTM


I have almost caught a glimpse of the Holy Grail- the lesser spotted rarer than rare rheumatology consultant was down the corridor when I was in seeing the rheummy nurse. She was busy stabbing me and taking swabs and things because (dut dum derrrr) I am about to be put forward for another (sigh) yes another new rheummy medication- Abatacept.



In the meantime there is an even rarer sight on the horizon of the Wonkywarrior NHS Jungle Binoculars!

YES!


A NEUROLOGY CONSULTANT......!

WOW!

In the meantime, wonkywarrior has noticed that although the stab of woo woo juice has made her a little less swollen the knees and neurology probs are a bit of a state and so walking is STILL not an option.

Has anyone seen a neuro before? what do they do to you first appointment?

Tummy on the blink

So much going on here fellow followers, not much time to blog but have squeezed you in!

My tummy has decided that it needs to go on the blink.

yes!

not satisfied with eating my joints, connective tissues and making me take the drugs that chewed up the endocrine system and peripheral nerves- the evil RA monster decides that the guts need a bit more action.




For the first time in my life, I am hungry but I do not want to eat.

Been off bothering the GP all week.

He sends me home with a neat little pot for poop.

Lovely!




I look at the pot and I think that there mus be an entire physio regime involved?



having limbered up ;-) the call of nature arrived with characteristic cramping agony and dash to the loo trying to undo the damn pot and get my trolleys down as fast as possible.

Of course the boys have been in here and left the seat up....

adopting "the position" and preparing myself for a moment the inevitable happens and the RA grip strikes!

A LOUD *&^%$£" s**ing B*****y S***e is heard emanating from under the bathroom door as the "tink tink" of the sample pot slips from my grip and lands in its watery grave down the pan...





excavations complete, sent a sample pot into the GP.

Have they no idea how impossible these things are for wonky warrior?!

Hi all,

Pleased to tell you that I have escaped the clutches of the nutties in the General.

Sadly, it does look like the Cimzia is causing neurological issues and has effected the ability to swallow properly. Therefore the Cimzia has been stopped.

Of course with Dr Swish there I feel very confident, top of the world and think "I dont need these RA drugs anyway!" I have had nice bed rest for a couple of wks, the Cimzia still sloshing about the veins and CRP is a little bit perky at 35 but nothing really to worry about.



I don't know if I told you, but last stint in the general I managed to stub my toe and decorated the ward air with some fruity mutterings which, translated into blog friendly tones are

"fiddly dee that does tingle!"

"my my that does smart rather!"

"oh deary me, I do wish I hadn't done that!"



Basically it bled and it really hurt! Anyway, for some reason it didnt want to heal up and when I was in hospital they looked at it and you will never guess- it only has MRSA in it! Honestly, you have to laugh! Anti biotics now then.

My consultant team are looking into a new drug called "abatacept". They have to apply for funding.

Anyone know much about this drug? As with most of them it seems it has been around in America for a while.

I keep thinking I would dearly love to jetison the lot!



So Abatacept? Anyone taken it/ tried it/ got NHS funding for it?

Mrs Tatoo's Adventure

Wonky followers! Another entry from the surreal world of the general hospital.

Mrs Tatoo is from Scotland and after a rousing version of "Ye'll take ye high rood and I'll tic thee low rood" at 2 am, 3 am and 4am, with some inventive attempts at scaling the heights of the bed bars ("I canney do with no hooks") the nurses decided that she was better placed with fellow nutties lurking in the next bay.



After spending much of the day snoozing quietly Mrs Tatoo woke refreshed just in time for the night shift to begin. After the climbing antics, nurse felt it safer to leave the bars down...

In the bed next to Mrs Tatoo was a new neighbour who I shall call Mrs Mother. Mrs Mother is in her late 80s. She, like Mrs Tatoo has been snoozing a lot during the day in between explaining to all the other patients that she was in fact expecting a baby.

Because all the patients in that bay are all frankly bonkers, they accept this information happily and so, together with Mrs Tatoo are busying themselves getting ready for the baby.

This means regular trips out of the bay, Mrs Tatoo is trying to procure "Wee Baskey" for "wee bern" and and therefore commandeered one of the cardboard bowl for "ye greater good".(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DnqPrDN77Xg)

With some skill she balances this on top of her zimmer frame and is quickly scuttling down the ward.

Nurse was assisting another patient behind the curtain, so Mrs Tatoo with frame and bowl got past.



There is another Nutty in the bay who I will call Mrs Laundry. Mrs Laundry spends most of the day dozily smiling at her relatives and visitors. At night, she is suddenly very mobile and off she goes to collect some towels for the baby!

As the small hours slip by eventually the ward settles to sleep.

At 0800 there is a sudden shout at Sister Pocket Rocket discovers there are no towels and goes onto the ward to be welcomed with flags.

Oh yes, Mrs Tatoo, Mrs Laundry and Mrs Mother are busy hanging the towels over the previously circumvented bars of their beds.


"There aren't any BLOODY pegs!" exclaims Mrs Laundry

I wonder what they think they are hanging up?!

Anyone want to send some towels c/o Sister Pocket Rocket, The General before she hops on the next plane to Turkey!

Cimzia, Neuro problems and the Pocket Rocket

Not been on the blogger, fellow wonkyites, because I have been busy getting new material for the blog! Oh yes!

The deep in the bowels of the general hospital clandestine log continues as I have accomplished a further 3 wks of stays in total with a trip home for a whole 10 days inbetween. (groan)

The boring bit is that the neuro problems got to a point where wonkybody was no longer enough- needed wonky face too and this meant i was put in hospital for 2 wks. Managed the horrors of the MRI machine (mega dose of tamazipan that would knock an elephant to its knees required but managed it..... oooh I dont like those things!)



I have then had a lumbar puncture under xray in a big operating theatre with a bank of screens and a thin table with what looked like- well a bit like err, umm, AHA! I know where I have seen something similar-



Now that takes me back!

Ha! Anyway following another dose of the Cimzia, managed to loose the sense of taste and now (joy of joys) the feeling in my throat. This has lead to me choking and making a complete ninny of myself trying to explain I cannot feel to swallow to a load of blank faced medics.

Of course, if you mention to rheumatology that it looks like it is their drug they bristle and avoid eye contact and immediately find something far more important than me to do.

You will be pleased to know that the hopeless drs fly-by-night and his colleague have gone off to annoy some other department and I am left with Dr Dishy and Dr Clever.

Dr Dishy and Dr Clever are lovely chappies who KNOW THEIR STUFF and are even interested.... good eh? Had a swallowing test (barium one) and another MRI and they even got some results- praying like mad I could avoid a repeat Lumbar Puncture...

Right, onto the exciting bits! I have some new characters to introduce to you:



First of the nutties is Mrs Beanie. Mrs Beanie is a little sweet slightly bonkers old, old lady who wears a little Beanie hat to help keep her warm.

Mrs Beanie has a couple of things she likes nothing better. 1) Take her little beanie hat off and comb her hair, 2) Play with tissues and stuff them under the blanket.

We have Sister Pocket Rocket on this ward who is very "old school" and likes everything spick and span. She charges about and works very hard. When she comes in our little section she says "Mrs Beanie- how are you today? You haven't had any of them tissues have you?" "No" she says "Good" says Sister Pocket Rocket and off she goes. 10mins later she is bustling in with the nurses to make the beds and is checking the floors, putting everyones wash stuff away, chucking out old newspapers and straightens Mrs Beanie's bed.

With a flourish of scrumpled tissues Mrs Beanie's secret stash is discovered- the blanket is stuffed full and like pigeons from a basket they waft all over the spick and span floor! Moreover, Mrs Beanies Glaswegian neighbour, Mrs Tattoo, thinks that the "wee fishes have been landed on ye dock" and is scrabbling to climb the bars and get out of bed to pick em up...!

Mrs Beanie's face is a picture of broken innocence. Sister Pocket Rocket sweeps up and leaves Mrs Beanie, now crest fallen, one solitary tissue to fiddle about with and one for a delighted Mrs Tattoo who likes her "wee fishy".

Sister Pocket Rocket leaves to answer the phone and talk to the Dr team at the desk round the corner.

I start to sort myself out a bit into clean PJs and look up just in time to see a Mrs Beanie, twinkle in her eye, with unsuspecting nurse with her handing over a brand new box of tissues....



I'm not telling Sister Pocket Rocket- are you?!

tick tock

still waiting STILL waiting!

Have now rung up the hospital following the promises that someone would ring me first thing this morning have come to nothing.

trying to think positive thoughts, my friends have helped with some ideas;

1) Meeting "interesting" people.
2) Eating free food (some of the time)
3) I get to come home once all is done and over with.

any other positives you can think of?

anyone seen

a lesser spotted hospital bed?


apparently all the ones in the general are full and so I have no bed. So we wait, with baited breath....