Cimzia, Neuro problems and the Pocket Rocket

Not been on the blogger, fellow wonkyites, because I have been busy getting new material for the blog! Oh yes!

The deep in the bowels of the general hospital clandestine log continues as I have accomplished a further 3 wks of stays in total with a trip home for a whole 10 days inbetween. (groan)

The boring bit is that the neuro problems got to a point where wonkybody was no longer enough- needed wonky face too and this meant i was put in hospital for 2 wks. Managed the horrors of the MRI machine (mega dose of tamazipan that would knock an elephant to its knees required but managed it..... oooh I dont like those things!)



I have then had a lumbar puncture under xray in a big operating theatre with a bank of screens and a thin table with what looked like- well a bit like err, umm, AHA! I know where I have seen something similar-



Now that takes me back!

Ha! Anyway following another dose of the Cimzia, managed to loose the sense of taste and now (joy of joys) the feeling in my throat. This has lead to me choking and making a complete ninny of myself trying to explain I cannot feel to swallow to a load of blank faced medics.

Of course, if you mention to rheumatology that it looks like it is their drug they bristle and avoid eye contact and immediately find something far more important than me to do.

You will be pleased to know that the hopeless drs fly-by-night and his colleague have gone off to annoy some other department and I am left with Dr Dishy and Dr Clever.

Dr Dishy and Dr Clever are lovely chappies who KNOW THEIR STUFF and are even interested.... good eh? Had a swallowing test (barium one) and another MRI and they even got some results- praying like mad I could avoid a repeat Lumbar Puncture...

Right, onto the exciting bits! I have some new characters to introduce to you:



First of the nutties is Mrs Beanie. Mrs Beanie is a little sweet slightly bonkers old, old lady who wears a little Beanie hat to help keep her warm.

Mrs Beanie has a couple of things she likes nothing better. 1) Take her little beanie hat off and comb her hair, 2) Play with tissues and stuff them under the blanket.

We have Sister Pocket Rocket on this ward who is very "old school" and likes everything spick and span. She charges about and works very hard. When she comes in our little section she says "Mrs Beanie- how are you today? You haven't had any of them tissues have you?" "No" she says "Good" says Sister Pocket Rocket and off she goes. 10mins later she is bustling in with the nurses to make the beds and is checking the floors, putting everyones wash stuff away, chucking out old newspapers and straightens Mrs Beanie's bed.

With a flourish of scrumpled tissues Mrs Beanie's secret stash is discovered- the blanket is stuffed full and like pigeons from a basket they waft all over the spick and span floor! Moreover, Mrs Beanies Glaswegian neighbour, Mrs Tattoo, thinks that the "wee fishes have been landed on ye dock" and is scrabbling to climb the bars and get out of bed to pick em up...!

Mrs Beanie's face is a picture of broken innocence. Sister Pocket Rocket sweeps up and leaves Mrs Beanie, now crest fallen, one solitary tissue to fiddle about with and one for a delighted Mrs Tattoo who likes her "wee fishy".

Sister Pocket Rocket leaves to answer the phone and talk to the Dr team at the desk round the corner.

I start to sort myself out a bit into clean PJs and look up just in time to see a Mrs Beanie, twinkle in her eye, with unsuspecting nurse with her handing over a brand new box of tissues....



I'm not telling Sister Pocket Rocket- are you?!